Caddy Smack: Comedian Dave Atell Mouths Off About Outlaw Golf 2

Crowd pleaser, clown, creepy drunk guy... all roles Dave Atell, host of Comedy Central's after-hours extravaganza Insomniac is well known for playing. One that doesn't garner him such widespread attention: an upcoming cameo as lobotomized links simulator Outlaw Golf 2's asinine announcer. Granted, you'd think constantly dealing with freaks and geeks in real life would prepare the funnyman for pandering to hardcore hobbyists' needs. Not so, says the accomplished stand-up, who reveals in an exclusive interview just how frightened he is of the average enthusiast. Or, for that matter, why audiences should bother gracing the game's greens with their presence:

1UP: Uh... wow... you're appearing in a budget-priced videogame. Sure that's a smart career move for a TV star?

Dave: You bet. I've done all sorts of jobs on my show. And from experience, I can tell you it beats working at a convenience store.

1UP: Just how much of a videogame addict are you?

Dave: Not as much as I could be. The problem is that it's hard to bring an Xbox along when you're always on the road. But games are awesome -- it's funny to see how the people playing them now are of all types and ages. Instead of it being just the kids who hang out at the mall who mess with these things, it's also the people who drive them to the mall who're starting to pick them up.

And how could you not? It's great the way games keep getting more involved and complicated. Bear in mind that I'm 39 -- I remember when Centipede was all the rage. And let me tell you, kids -- games had much fewer side-plots, less convoluted stories, and not nearly as much sex in them as they do now.

1UP: Why's Outlaw Golf 2 going to make such an impact on America?

Dave: Because Outlaw Golf 2 is fun. It's down and dirty. The real sport's boring -- for years it was played only by bluebloods, and was exclusive to old men. I still think that if it wasn't for Tiger Woods, the game would've died out long ago, like most of the people who could afford to go to indulge in it.

1UP: How'd the experience of performing for the game compare to doing one of your usual routines?

Dave: Funny story. I thought it'd be easy -- I walked into the recording session like, "Hey, where's my check?" Turns out it wasn't so simple. The crew gave me something like 900 lines to read... they'd only been working on the game for like 3 years. Little did I know.

I walked into the studio hung over, figuring I'd be done and out of there in no time. Doing lines for the game turned out to be a lot of work at the end of the day. I actually had to show up, sit there and chain smoke. It was exhausting.

1UP: Did the designers let you improvise on the script any?

Dave: You bet -- they were open to whatever I could bring to the table. There's only so many ways you can say "nice birdie," "good shot," or whatever. My only complaint is that I tried to work in topical stuff, and it turns out they didn't want that. So in the end, there weren't any good "beat that ball like it's [Osama] bin Laden" jokes. The team didn't dig that. In the end though, I wound up having fun and was able to just riff off of the different lines and characters we had to work with. I mean, they've got pimps in this game... it was like doing commentary for The Surreal Life, only golf-related.

1UP: Pop quiz: If they can make a sport out of Outlaw Golf 2, what activity would you most like to see transformed into a form of professional athletics?

Dave: I'd like to see something that's like a combination of dodgeball and Fear Factor. It doesn't really matter what's behind a sport as long as it involves a guy drinking too much, running around, and throwing up. And then some other guy has to eat it.

1UP: Do you really think people will be receptive to a title as crazy as this?

Dave: Yeah. Golf had this stuck up image for a long time, like it was the sport of kings or something. It was such a country club vibe. I don't know who finally made the game cool, but eventually people realized it was for everybody. A title like Outlaw Golf 2 is the next natural extension.

Look at it this way -- it's more fun than real life. In the real world, you don't have cart races, guys getting purposefully hit with balls, pissed off players chasing you. Think of this game as the M. Night Shyamalan version of the sport. You saw what he did to the Amish...

1UP: More intimidating: Performing for the average comedy club patron or gaming enthusiasts?

Dave: Gamers, definitely -- they're a lot more intimidating, because they're so hardcore. You've got everyone from teenage kids hanging out in their parents' basement sniffing paint to 40 year-old dudes hanging out in their parents' basement sniffing other drugs interested in the topic. It's a wide audience you have to appeal to. Drunks, on the other hand, are pretty easy to entertain.

 1UP: Sports star you most wish was included as a character in the title?

Dave: Arnold Palmer. He played at a time when you could stay out drinking all night before a competition and smoke on the course. That's my type of role model. Definitely him... or Kobe Bryant, maybe. Now there's a good guy.

1UP: Serious question: Outlaw Golf 2 features adult industry veterans Summer and Autumn. Why, in your opinion, would golf benefit from having more strippers as pro players?

Dave: Are you kidding? It's a sport that's designed for stripping. There's a pole, you have to bend over to fish balls out of the hole... I mean, come on. Need I really say more?